Just Call Me The Professional Spanker

OK so the whole theme to my blog is thrown out the window. I am consistently inconsistent. Here is a story of what happened to me today. Literally this day, Sunday, August 9, 2009. I woke up this morning at the crack ass of dawn as usual to walk my dog and what not. I decided to look through petfinder.com and craigslist for adoptable animals. I kind of want another puppy or maybe even a kitten, if it was super cool. Then I thought, "Hey maybe I should look at jobs, you know to maybe get a full time job at some point in my life" But instead i scrolled down to "adult gigs" I thought, "Hmmm, I have been seriously considering getting into porn recently...and I am a totally kinky freak...let me check out the ads." I saw several that looked appealing. I have already received twelve emails in response to these, including a porn company, "masturbating videos", and a "successful normal good looking couple looking for an attractive young female for some fun" (all offering cash money). The first to respond was Glen the 36 year old married to a Colombian getting a green card Spank fetish freak. He requests that I wear fitted jeans. He tells me he will wear women's jeans too. We met at a local hotel. I got out of my car and was totally shocked to see that Glen is a good looking man. Totally normal looking. I immediately got excited and couldn't stop smiling. I knew this was a good choice. (As opposed to it possibly being a serial killer who would kidnap, rape, and chop me into little pieces...which is a chance i guess i was willing to take today) So we get into the room. To make me feel more comfortable he starts explaining his fetish to me and how he's NOT gay at all. I am smiling the whole time because I really do not give a shit. I just want to get paid to beat the shit out of a man. I am wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I do not take any article of clothing off the entire time. So he goes into the bathroom. He comes out in the tightest women's jeans i have ever seen. I look at him, giggle, and say, "Who's pants are those?" He smiles and responds with, "I bought them. I used to wear my wife's but she doesn't like that." Me, "Does your wife know about your fetish and that you do this with strange women?" Glen, "Well she knows that I really enjoy spanking, but she doesn't know I do this. Our marriage is in shambles. Were getting divorced." Me, "Oh...sorry..okay." So he tells me to sit on the bed and he bends over my knees like a little naughty boy. He tells me to do some practice spanks since I am not experienced. I start. Then he hands me the wooden hairbrush. I hit him as hard as I could a few times. He looks and me and says, "Wow..you are pretty good." Then he takes off the jeans. He tells me not to laugh. He is wearing thong booty shorts (women's) that say "lil devil" on the ass. I immediately laugh hysterically in his face. His balls are also hanging out of the side. He awkwardly fixes them. I apologize but he doesn't seem offended. I think he thought it was cute how amused I was by the whole situation. So then he requests that I tie his ankles and wrists together so he can't escape. I love it. He is securely tied. (he brought the ties and jeans and thong with him of course) So then he lays across my lap again. He sets the timer. The deal is that i do it for three minutes. I start beating him so hard that hes crying and whimpering. He is slowly inching off of my lap and i beat him harder, while giggling like a school girl the entire time. You have no idea how exciting it is to spank someone as hard as you possibly can with a brush and know that you are going to get paid...just to beat the shit out of someone. I couldn't stop laughing. He finally crawled away on the floor and begged me to stop. It had only been a little over a minute. His face was priceless. "You are so beautiful. I'm sorry I couldn't take anymore. Next time we need to go to this place called the Dungeon where they have shackles that i definitely can't escape from you." I laugh even harder, I am sweating and out of breath. "I thought you do this all the time. I hope i didn't hurt you too bad." And I smile at him. He walked away and I saw that his entire ass was beat red and part of it was actually bleeding. We both had SO much fun. He handed me the 200 bucks. "I will DEFINITELY be calling you again." Glen said. I hugged him and told him I had a very good time.  I can't wait to get paid to beat the shit out of a man again. This might be the beginning to my career as a dominatrix. 

Have You Ever Smoked A Blunt During Sex?

I can't say when this happened or really anything about the guy it happened with. He's very private and a big believer that what happens behind closed doors is no body's business. I on the other hand, am a big believer in sharing stories for the sake of entertainment. So Bluntman and I had been hooking up on and off for a few months. No strings attached, just strictly friends with benefits. We are still good friends though and I do enjoy his company. We played our games of going on dates and ignoring each other for the chase. We didn't speak for two weeks and in that time he managed to get a girlfriend who had already told him she wanted to marry him. When he shared this with me I laughed in his face and said, "Hello?! Isn't that a HUGE warning sign to get the hell out of there fast? After only two weeks?!" Needless to say, he had no plans of marrying her. So we continued to hang out every once and a while, smoke, drink, and have sex. During one conversation, the subject of smoking a blunt during sex came up. This was something neither of us had done before and decided it was definitely something we should try. He had the house to himself, bought champagne, and rolled a blunt. I came over and we started to drink. Eventually, we ended up in his room and lit the blunt. We were both ready to do this. We started taking each other's clothes off, kissing, and passing the blunt between us all at the same time. I started sucking his dick while he sat there taking hits off the blunt. It felt like a stoner's sex fantasy come to life. He handed me the blunt as he put the condom on. He penetrated me while he took more hits. He started going faster, deeper, and harder while he would exhale his smoke into my mouth. Smoke surrounded us, we kept getting higher, and he kept thrusting deeper into me. He handed me the blunt and said, "here, take some hits." He slowly kept going in and out of me as I took a big, long hit. While watching me he said, "Oh my God, this is so hot." We were both very turned on by watching each other get high and get off. It felt so gangster! I'm getting horny just thinking about it. If you enjoy smoking marijuana, I definitely recommend smoking a blunt while fucking. You won't experience a high quite like that.