The Nipple Heard Around The World

I wanted to keep this blog anonymous, but if anyone from my town happens to read this, they will automatically know who I am. Oh well who gives a shit right? I obviously don't. So Judy and I had become very close during our sophomore year. Probably because we are both pretty insane and would constantly get in trouble. We liked to go to clubs, cut class, smoke cigarettes on school grounds, and snort Adderall in the locker room. So we decided to take our friendship to the next level. (no, not like that you sick fucks) We wanted to get friendship rings. You probably think this sounds relatively normal but I am not talking about rings you wear on your finger. We wanted to get friendship nipple rings. We had become fairly familiar with Fat Pat, a body piercer and tattoo artist who had already done Judy's tongue ring and both of our belly button rings so we came to him to get our very special friendship rings. We decided a good time to go would be one Saturday after we had Saturday detention. Judy and I had detention every single day for cutting class or being late. When you didn't show up to regular detention after school you would get Saturday detention which lasts three hours. So as you can guess, we had Saturday detention every Saturday. We would just roll out of bed in our pajamas to show up to Saturday detention. We both looked like hot messes and went to see Fat Pat. After we got them done, we each took a picture of each others' nipples using a disposable camera that Judy had in order to document our awesome day. I took a picture of Judy first. I only included her breast in the picture because I assumed that was the focus of the picture. She then took a picture of me which included my entire body and face. It was not an attractive picture of me at all. My hair was messy, i had make up smeared all over my face, and I over all looked like a crack whore with a nipple ring in my left breast. Some how this picture got "lost". I probably will never know the truth about this situation. Judy had developed these pictures and kept them in her car. She said during school one day someone must have broken into her car and stolen just that one picture. I know, I find it hard to believe myself. So I know we all hope this would be end of the story (or at least I did), but oh no it gets way worse. Some how this picture ended up on a website called "flash your rack". In order to get to my picture you have to type in a name. The name linked to my picture was the initials of my town followed by one of my older brother's first names. Not only did everyone find out about this, but eventually there were print outs of this picture floating around school. It was all over every computer in every classroom too. One morning as usual I got called down to he Principal's office. This was not unusual by any means, considering most kids who got detention on a regular basis were called down to speak to the principal in the morning. So this morning the conversation with my principal got a little weirder than usual. I believe it went along the lines of this:

Principal: "So I hear you have something in common with Paris Hilton and it's not having a lot of money."

(Amazing how in one sentence he can call me poor and slutty and act like this is appropriate)

Me: "Excuse me?"

Principal: "Everyone is talking about that picture of you going around."

Me: "Yeah, I know. I had nothing to do with that."

Principal: "Oh OK, I just wanted to make sure you weren't the one responsible for spreading it around the school. All of your teachers and classmates have seen it."

Me: "I know. Is there anything else you need to talk to me about?"

Principal: "No, you can leave. Bye. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon." 

(With the creepiest smile ever on his face)

Most people still associate this picture with me.